Second Marriages and Children

Remarrying after divorce when there are children involved can require some negotiating not only for the couple but also for the children.  Children from previous relationships have to make real adjustments in order to have a happy family life which includes a new step-mother or step-father, and often, new step-siblings.

Children's needs must be taken into account.  Younger children may show regressive behaviour & teens may show acting  out behaviours.  It's important to take the changes that they are dealing with into account so that they can feel that they are part of the decisions.

Children and teenagers function best when there is routine and may resist change.  Whether their parents have separated amicably or not, they still have to cope with a big change in their life.

Parents can help to avoid conflicts if they discuss what is happening, in an age appropriate way, and involve them in the decision making process.  They need to have time to adjust to the new routines and new people in their life.

Adjusting to a new family will always come with a few issues.  Each person will need to readjust to new routines and expectations and to need to learn to communicate with new family members.  It's important that parents ensure that their child feels listened to, and provided with opportunities to express their concerns.

Most children are resilient and can adapt to change well, as long as that change occurs within a supportive environment.